Blah!

I have been in such lousy mood lately!... I have been trying to figure out why I am in such lousy mood, but I couldn't figure out exactly what causing it... Some days I do feel very happy as if there are endless possibilities. I would feel as if my life will just blossom in ways that I wanted it to be. Today I feel lousy though... I sit in front of my computer and staring at line of codes, knowing what I need to do, but I just won't budge. Maybe I had too much fun this weekend when my girlfriend came visiting me and now I feel a bit lost. Maybe it's a transition between the weekends and weekdays that gets to me. There always seems to be a little gap between the weekends and the weekdays with me lately. As if the weekend routines and the weekday routines are so different that, I need time to adjust... And yet I thought I am able to resolve this whole matter years ago. I remembered I use to live for the weekend... as if my real life was comprised of all the weekends and the weekdays were just a blur. I remembered feeling as if I lived separated lives and that everything in my life was separated into incoherent segments. I was longing for a continuous stream of meaningful life. Perhaps not every minute of my life needs to always be meaningful, but that every event must connected to one another. I was longing for connectedness in my life. Now everything seemingly seperated again... I wonder why?